Frequently Asked Questions
Q. I am a single woman and do not have a significant other. I received a wedding invitation that was addressed to me and did not include a guest. I was insulted and did not go. What are your thoughts on this subject?
A. One reason an invitation is not extended to an unnamed guest is that they do not wish to include persons they do not know. Another reason may be the budget or the venue does not accommodate the additional numbers. This does not apply to a married or engaged couple. It is often done and is a great gesture if one so desires.
Q. Dear Ms. Charlotte, I am in the early stages of planning a fall wedding and I am compiling my wedding invitation guest list. My maid of honor suggested that I have an A list and a B list. If the A list sends regrets then I would send out B list invitations. Do you see anything wrong with this concept?
A. A complete wedding and reception guest list should be prepared. All invitations should be mailed out at the same time, with the exception of those going outside the country. This can avoid a guest thinking they were forgotten or not as important as another.
Q. Ms. Sutherland, my bride to be and I are considering a destination wedding but we’re not clear who should be invited.
A. Keep in mind when you chose the destination the expense of travel and accommodations that some guests may not be able to afford. Generally your wedding party, family and close friends would be invited unless your destination is not that far away.
Q. Ms. Charlotte. My wedding guest list is now at 300. How many ushers do you think I need and what is the difference between ushers and groomsmen?
A. For a guest list of 300 you will need 1 usher per 50 guests. The duties of an usher is only to usher guests to their seats. Groomsmen can also perform this duty but they participate in the processional and recessional.
Q. Ms. Sutherland, what is one thing that comes to mind that often times gets overlooked?
A. Someone to transport the wedding gifts from the reception location to the couple’s new home or a place for safe keeping.
Q. Dear Ms. Charlotte, should all out of town quests be invited to the rehearsal dinner?
A. The groom’s family generally hosts the rehearsal dinner. If their budget and venue allows, it is a nice gesture to invite all of the out of town guests. The bride and groom and all of their attendants and their spouses or partners, the couple’s immediate families, and the clergy and their spouse, are the minimum of people invited. This event should in no way upstage the wedding reception. The style should be consistent with the wedding. On another note, a separate gathering could be hosted for the guests not involved in the rehearsal and everyone could meet together later in the evening.
Q. My wedding is in six weeks and one of my attendants has just told me that she is having a conflict at work in taking the time off. I am very upset and not sure what I should do. Could you please help?
A. Work schedules are more demanding now than ever and I am sure she would not want to miss your wedding and is as upset as you are. Tell her you understand and that she will be missed. Do not be concerned about a replacement at this late date unless someone that is the right size volunteers. An uneven number of attendants is acceptable.